A Small Kiss and the Word Ditto

I don't understand people.

I know a few that hate me,

And even less that love me,

But I've never met anyone who I felt loved to hate me.

I may never understand the world,

Which I have made peace with,

However my misunderstanding with you has given me no rest.

Like most days this weekend chalked another victory for evil.

For love never ends like it does in the movies,

It seems that in reality the bad guy always wins.

But perhaps I'm the bad guy this time,

Simply because you are in a relationship.

But I think I'm finally ok with that,

Not your relationship, but that I may be the bad guy.

A friend once told me that I have no feelings,

That my mentallity matched that of a demon.

And for some reason that is awkwardly comforting.

Because as a demon I don't need anyone,

I am free to hate, to pursue my cause fighting fire with fire.

But this isn't what I want,

What I want is to be completly honest with you, as I always have.

I don't care who reads this, because my words are true,

And my intentions noble.

So the truth is...

I don't know who you are,

And it really makes me sad.

I care alot about you, whether you believe it or not,

But the demon inside of me wishes I didn't.

I see two people in front of me.

The strong, intelligent person you are.

And the weak, confused one you try so hard to be.

I don't know this game, but what I do know is that,

If you don't want to see me, then don't text me to hang out.

If you think my ideas are stupid, then don't ask to hear them,

Because even though they may be stupid,

I believe that someday someone will place value in them.

Though it may it sound like it, these words are not meant to judge.

I'm far from perfect.

I know that I messed this up along time ago,

And I regret that now.

As you might regret pushing me away later.

We are both Sagittaurius, and therefore born of fire.

You are burning rather brightly these days,

But together I think we could go supernova.

You have changed alot, but there is still something missing.

You still allow yourself to be controlled,

Which is another flaw we have in common.

I never wanted control of you, I still don't.

Which I think is another reason why I pushed you away.

I can barely carry the responsibility of the decision's I make for myself.

I want to enrich you,

To be the man you know can never fail you when things get hard,

As well as,

The friend who listens and laughs with you even when were talking about nothing.

Maybe I have completely misjudged and this lifestyle is truly what make you happy.

Though I think if you were to find yourself again that you would be alot happier.

Please don't take offense,

This is just a point of view,

Words are my only way to fight,

Since my actions are built on dreams.

The most pathetic part of it all.

Is that I know you don't care.

Well, not enough to talk to me about it.

But I will dwell on this for a little longer.

Because I still have something left to say.

You don't think I remember,

But I do.


Its been a long time,

Maybe you don't even remember.

But many moons ago,

In a dark, disgusting basement,

In a small decrypted bed,

I once heard you say, I love you.

My fear kept me from speaking then,

As I cowardly hid in the darkness.

I've thought it over many times wondering what the right thing to say was,

But in the end I realize that it didn't matter.

Because anything would have been better than my silence.

Even if it was as pathetic a response as,

A small kiss and the word ditto...

I have always wanted to say these words to you,

And though this acts as a cheap substitute,

I just wanted to have them reach you at least once.