To Post Secret

Dear PostSecret,

Somedays I feel overwhelmingly responsible for my sisters death,
She died a year before I was born.

Most can only imagine our energy flowing from positive to negative.
A movement from life to death.

Sometimes this exchange occurs in reverse,
A life created from death.

The result of such a transition is usually tragic,
A damned soul burdoned by double circumstance.

Linked by shield, genetics, and our constellation Sagittarius,
A difference of gender may be the only thing that individualized us.

I remember the day when mother explained you to me, she said,
"After Jessica I got pregnant right away because my depression was suicidal."

Without your sacrifice there would have been no need for my creation,
I'm still not sure if it was worth the trade.

Days I am accomplished are filled with twice the celebration,
I have successfully embraced your gift.

Days I fail are filled with twice the sorrow,
I crumble under the weight of letting us down.

My skin is scarred with stories of lives left unfulfilled,
Yours is at the top.

I wish to live just long enough to make you proud,
And when this body is buried and dissolves so will our regret.

I don't fear death because we've already set a date,
I know this curse will end me, Decemeber 8, 20??.

I swear to have lived enough for both of us by this meeting,
Because I'm just like my sister, I will sacrifice everything for my sibling.

Jessica L Beaumier (December 8, 1984 - December 12, 1984)
Drew J Beaumier (December 4, 1985 - Decemeber 8, 20??)